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Posted on 02/07/2012 @ 10:00 AM

Tags: Financial Empowerment, Just For Fun

Financial Management Doesn't Need to Strain Your Relationship

Today's Guest Contributor is Alexandra Chaikin. Alexandra is a passionate supporter of community development. She volunteers as a Money Management 101 instructor for Capital Area Asset Builders in Washington, D.C. and she writes about her thoughts and experiences here at achaikin.blogspot.com. Ms. Chaikin holds an M.B.A. from the George Washington University and a B.A. from Vassar College.

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, I’m taking the opportunity to discuss one of the least sexy aspects of being in a relationship: finances. Chocolate and flowers may be nice, but romance is unsustainable without some kind of mutual understanding about money.

In a recent blog post, Bill Varettoni, financial planner and founder of the financial service organization Community Ladders, espoused the many virtues of open communication about household economics. I fully support all the solutions Bill proposes, and would like to add a few reflections of my own.

First, showing affection doesn’t need to break the bank. This is seems obvious, but flies in the face of the logic used in the majority Valentine’s Day ads. Diamond commercials, in my opinion, are among the worst offenders because they show an altered reality in which buying expensive jewelry is the best (and maybe the only) way to prove your love. I’ve often found myself yelling at the hypothetical male audience: “Just do the dishes!” The key is to find a way to show your partner you love and honor them, and there are numerous ways to do this. Some are free – like doing exactly what you said you’d do – and some can just cost moderate amounts of money, like taking your significant other to a restaurant they adore or a show they’ve been wanting to see (even if it’s not your favorite).

Second, changing financial behaviors might require an adjustment period. Bill Varettoni talks in his post about specific solutions like allowing slush funds for each party and setting clear expectations about how to manage finances. As with many things, this is easier to talk about in theory than to implement. Actually cutting back on your own spending or saving more each month can be quite difficult. It’s really not too different from going on a diet; companies like Dave Ramsey’s exist precisely because sticking to the plan isn’t easy. Don’t beat yourself up if there is a little awkwardness in the early stages. Keep at it and remind yourselves of the bigger goal: a happy, honest relationship.

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